This week, I�ve been meditating like I�m training for a meditation marathon. It�s been bringing up all sorts of crazy stuff, and I wasn�t sure I�d ever settle down to a more peaceful state.

My brain hasn�t completely organized itself into a perfect state of peace yet, but I am starting to get glimpses out of delusion and into reality here and there.

Over the past few days it�s been necessary for me to constantly remind myself to not let fear rule my life. I hadn�t realized how many fears I had, and how that was causing unnecessary anxiety or avoidance. I recognize them in my normal waking life, but without examination, I mistake them for rational fears.

Some of them are, sure, but by letting the fear rule my life, I�m subtracting from the overall quality of my life. It�s silly.

Despite having this compulsion, I refuse to do it, anymore.

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Saturday, Feb. 10, 2007 at 4:06 PM