Thank you, LA.

I was just now reminded that life can always be good because we always have the option of rejoicing in the happiness of others.

The competitiveness of our culture has really done us a disservice in some ways.

I know this is true for me. I don�t doubt that other people fall into the same trap. In the past, somewhere, deep down in my psyche, I believed that it was wrong to feel good about other people�s successes. We�re taught that it subtracts from us to feel good for others and to help others (Maybe this is what has given rise to the part of our culture that loves to see others hurt or maimed?).

After all, we�re supposed to win. We�re supposed to be on top, second place isn�t good enough. If we don�t have it all, we have nothing.

God forbid that you are satisfied when a fellow human being has found happiness.

In actuality, giving and rejoicing in others has the opposite affect. It adds to us.

My poor ex (poor in spirit) makes more money per year than most human beings will see their entire lives. He has a big house in a nice suburb, with a decent piece of land (I know, I used to live there).

He has a loyal dog, two beautiful cats, a giant fish tank filled with exotic fish. He can afford to drive an SUV to cart around his kayak and enjoy the many lakes and rivers within a few minutes of his home.

He has a girlfriend that he believes is a smart and wonderful person.

But, oh god, did he ever get mad when I joked that Ira Glass would choose me over her, because earlier that day one of my friends joked that no straight man could ever resist my legs, and I was pretty sure Ira Glass is straight. I�ve never even seen the girl. For all I know, she�s a Rockette!

First of all, it was obviously a joke (I mean, really, who would say that seriously? Ira Glass is married, anyway). Secondly, who the hell cares what anyone else thinks about your mate? It only matters what you think.

Maybe he�s only like this when he�s speaking to me, but I have never seen him happy. I can only think of few and far between times when he�s ever expressed satisfaction with anything, and millions of times that he expressed dissatisfaction with something. Everything sucks to him.

That�s not the way to live. I�m only saying this now because it�s so much easier to point out the one thing to avoid rather than list the millions of things to find.

Just for starters:

Go outside, take a breath, look at the sky, look at the trees, walk down the street, look at the faces of the people around you, go to the bookstore and read some books, go to the beach and put your toes in the water.

Sit down and daydream about putting your toes in the water!

Or, like me, you can get a nice cup of tea, put on your favorite radio host (that could never resist your legs as long as he�s straight), settle down in front of the computer and do your job.

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Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2007 at 10:37 AM