I went to a lecture on buddhism and spoke to the president of that board Iíve mentioned a few times.

I told him that I would probably miss tomorrowís board meeting while he had a completely expressionless look the entire time I was talking. Then he told me that he would send me a summary of what was discussed. He must be doing extra practice in equanimity or something.

He is currently studying in a Buddhist chaplaincy program, which I think is the coolest thing ever, and I wish I had time for that kind of thing. I wonder if thatís his new listening face.

I havenít been getting enough sitting time, nor enough time for Buddhist study. I guess I could have done that during winter. That may have been more productive than spending all my time obsessing over Mr. Crush. That really did test my equanimity, which is a trait I was not naturally blessed with. I had been working on that prior to the temporary insanity that afflicted me after meeting Mr. Crush.

I just went back through the archives, and it looks like it was July the last time I even mentioned him. It felt bizarre when I was having the inexplicable attachment, but now that itís been gone for so long, it seems almost incomprehensible. I wonder what would happen if I saw him again?

Maybe the Universe will implode, or just mine, again.

I want to be more organized in my practice, though. Iím going on a three day retreat in October and Iím looking forward to it.

Over the past few days, the right side of my brain has been starting to express itself more.

Iím sure that all people swing back and forth between the two. I tend to be very much aware when my brain starts to change. I can also affect this by choosing certain tasks over others. Right brained tasks will wake up my right brain and the same with the left brain.

Personally, I prefer the right side, but the left brain gets me through work, which helps me eat and all that.

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Monday, Sept. 10, 2007 at 12:46 AM