Forgive the incoherence. Iíve barely slept at all this week.
AroundÖ oh, mid-August, I got an email from what I thought was a completely random stranger. Iíd been talking about surfing on a hiking discussion board, and he sent me email.
After going back and forth a bit, I learned that heís also a buddhist, a vegetarian, and heís one of the leaders of one of one of my outdoor clubs. After awhile, it became apparent that he wasnít actually a weirdo emailing random a stranger about surfing; weíd met hiking this past spring. I just didnít remember it.
The past few weeks have been filled with hiking, surfing, attending meditation together, and chatting.
It was really bizarre for me, at first. All of the above mentioned things that we have in common are things that Iím not accustomed to having in common with anyone. My friends are soft and geeky.
Itís convenient that heís also a vegetarian, but eats twice what I do. Iíve been giving him my extra food. I enjoy giving people food. It must be my grandmother coming out in me.
I may be converting him into a geek. Iíve been talking to him a little bit about technology, and heís interested in learning about it. Heís certainly smart enough to pick up what I know, anyway.
He has a degree in physiology (among other things). He is an ex-personal trainer. I havenít been injured in karate in awhile, but Iím glad to know that the next time I am, I have someone to consult about it.
Ummm, transitions are always hard for me. When Iím with my outdoor clubs or outdoor friends, I chat and have a nice time, but thereís very little attachment. Suddenly gaining this kind of friend is new for me. Itís new, and new things create anxiety, but compared to previous changes, this transition has gone remarkably well.
This week was difficult. The realization that weíre likely going to be spending a lot of time together in the future was overwhelming for me. That, combined with late night phone calls and late nights on the roof of his apartment building (thereís a breathtaking view and the weather has been fantastic) has driven me into another state of extreme sleep deprivation. Thatís the other thing. His primary tool for communication seems to be the phone and not the internet. Sheesh, normal people!
Iíve talked to him about my anxiety (but not the ptsd). I think the bad nights will be over soon (they havenít really been any worse than any typical stress-filled week).
Heís leading a 3 day hike somewhere in new york this weekend. I canít go, and Iím glad. Iíll be happy to stay home and catch up on sleep and house work. This is assuming that I choose not to go surfing on Sunday.
The call of the beach might be too much for me. Nicole told me that the forecast says it will be 81F on Sunday. In October!
I canít believe how long itís been since my last update. I havenít been that busy.
|Friday, Oct. 05, 2007 at 1:00 PM|