Very tired. I need to start getting more sleep. How long have I been saying that?

I spoke to Neil on Friday. Out of nowhere (I haven�t heard from him in months), he said hello to me and brought up aspergers. He told me that he was being evaluated for it. I congratulated him for finally seeking treatment. We then caught up a little bit on our recent doings, and that was that.

Today, he left me a note about it. He sent me a link to a long and detailed description of aspergers and asked me if any of it sounded familiar from when we were together. You know, because I�ve been breathlessly sitting here for two years, just waiting to have the opportunity to spend my morning researching aspergers, so I could dredge up painful memories, in order to help diagnose my crazy exboyfriend.

I skimmed it over briefly, and replied that I couldn�t remember very well, but I do remember that at the time, I thought he had aspergers. Again, I congratulated him for seeking treatment and thought that was that.

He came back with a sarcastic comment about my memory. Then I realized that I don�t need to think back two years, I can have a conversation with him now and notice the symptoms. I did not bother telling him.

I was immediately irritated. Then I realized that I haven�t been that annoyed with anyone since I broke up with him. This made me incredibly grateful for the people I have chosen to keep company with over the past two years.

It�s not easily definable, but there is a definite distinction between being treated like an object and being treated like a person. It�s so hard to define, that unless a person has actually taken the time to learn to differentiate the two, we only recognize it because one feels bad and the other feels good.

Because it�s not overt, it�s very difficult to not absorb it, to not let it creep into your psyche and affect your feelings about yourself.

So I emailed my sane boyfriend and told him how wonderful he is.

The two of us had a lovely weekend. We went salsa dancing on Friday night. Saturday morning, we drove up to NYC, where I was given the gift of meeting some of his closest friends; people he grew up with and people he roomed with in college.

We spent time with Tony and stayed over at his condo. The next morning, we went to a temple to meditate. We then had lunch with his sister, who astounded me with a beautiful mix of courage and kindness.

Who knew people like this existed in the real world? This is why I don�t sleep. I can�t get enough of those who are good to me.

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