I feel like my brain has NOT been working. I�ve been so dehydrated since the weather has turned cold.

The holidays took me by surprise. One minute, I was surfing in the hot sun, so warm, I barely needed a wetsuit, and the next thing I know, it�s Halloween.

And here I am now. I�m a completely different person than I used to be. I�ve changed so much in the past decade, I�m amazed that I could even be the same person. Although, looking at decade old pictures, I�m surprised at how little I�ve changed physically. Man, maybe I just looked old as a 20 year old.

I don�t remember being 20 and getting cold so easily. Is it age or merely the lower metabolism? These days, the minute I leave the dojang floor, I�m shivering. The sweat on my skin starts feeling icy before I can even change clothes.

It must be the low iron count. I�m not glad that I can�t donate blood, but I am a bit relieved. I feel too close to the weight minimum for my own comfort. I suppose they know what they are talking about, though.

Oh, I finally slogged through Confederacy of Dunces. I would�ve needed to be a little more masochistic to have enjoyed that.

I�m not as opinionated as I used to be, nor judgmental. I can accept that people like things that I don�t like. These days, I�m more apt to think, �Good for them, I�m glad there are things in this world that they enjoy.� Rather than� well, I was definitely more critical.

I guess I am a bit masochistic if I chose to finish the book, but I hate stopping things in the middle, especially when there�s a chance it could redeem itself in the end. It did, sorta. Was it worth it? I don�t know. Maybe someday, I will know.

I got email from my brother this morning. How is it that in the past few years, he�s become more coherent, and I�ve become less? It�s a strange progression, since he�s supposed to be the poet and I�m supposed to be the analyst.

Oh yeah. Anyway, he�ll be back in the States towards the end of December and through the first of the year. He�s interested in knowing whether or not I�ll make my way to Minneapolis while he is there.

The Midwest in the middle of winter?! Plus, the Midwest during the holidays?! I am considering it. That�s how devoted I am to my brother.

Speaking of siblings, I totally adore Adam�s sister. Seriously. She�s adorable. She�s fresh out of fashion design school and remarkably talented, and brave. Am I developing a bigger crush on my boyfriend�s sister than my own boyfriend? That would be a very odd development. But, she could potentially take me to fashion shows, so who could blame me?

I have to hang on to Adam at least through fashion week.

Oh, I wrote Suzanne a long email update, too. Don�t worry, it was much more cohesive than this.

It was mostly just stuff about Adam and our recent trip to new york and meeting some of his good friends. I felt so privileged that he took me to meet people he grew up with. They tackled him as if they thought he�s been dead for the past two months. They had a funny nickname for him that�s a melding of his last name and the word �dog� or �puppy� depending on how they wanted to tease him.

I guess it made me nostalgic for some old-close friends, but Suzanne is really the best I�ve got. Not that she�s lacking in anything. We have known each other since the age of 12, but we�ve lived in the same state for fewer years than that.

It�s so endearing to see lots of happy young men falling all over each other, and roughhousing like boys. This is what happens when you spend all of your time around recluses and nerds, you don�t realize that normal people like each other. A lot. It�s so nice to see.

It goes well with the Fall weather. It�s a good time for boys to roughhouse because it�s cold and they won�t get sweaty.

The Fall is also good for curling up underneath warm things and finally getting that rest that was so elusive during the summer. I�m surprised that the foliage pulled through a little bit, considering how long the summer went.

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Friday, Nov. 09, 2007 at 11:44 AM