I was just doing my daily check for diaryland updates and I saw that I havenít updated in 12 days.

I guess certain experiences tend to make life speed up and slow down at the same time. Like, those times in your life when you become infatuated with someone who is also infatuated with you. The end result being that and you spend so time worshipping one another that you start to worry that the cats might turn a hose on you.

And, itís a legitimate concern.

And, the next thing you know, itís 12 days later.

I was vacationing from work last week. I stayed home for most of it, and I enjoyed all of it. Iím looking forward to being a bit more settled into the relationship, but I must admit, itís nice being in that state where a bomb could go off under your nose and you just donít give a damn because youíre that much in love.

Thatís the thing we all want; that overriding bliss that makes everything ok. Itís only temporary, but thatís what makes it so valuable. Iím happy with that.

For awhile, we were both boggling over how it was possible that we could be so lucky. I think now Iíve started to accept it. Luck or not, it happened, and I donít want to waste a whole lot of time sitting around and second guessing it.

Instead, I just feel gratitude.

Also, Iíve neglected to update because I donít feel as safe about it anymore. It may just be paranoia. During the past couple of months, when Iíve really needed to get something out, Iíd send a long, rambling email to Suzanne. She never replies, but it serves my purpose. I get to write it and I get to maintain an audience. Suzanne herself might be about the same size of my audience either way. Plus, itís not like my email is encrypted, so does it matter?

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Monday, Dec. 03, 2007 at 4:40 PM