Well, I�m thinking about changing things around again. I mean, possibly abandoning diaryland. I love the simplicity of this place, but it�s old-old-fashioned.

Also, I think I�m just not cut-out to be an online diarist. I don�t have the stomach for putting myself out there. So, I think it�s time for a more modern-day blog. The kind of thing where I don�t put down personal information, but I also take credit for what I am saying. Rather than being of a personal nature, just make it informative. Rather than attempting anonymity, just be blatant about who I am.

It sounds silly, I know, but I�ve often changed sites and usernames because my anonymity had been compromised against my will.

It�s different when it�s a choice. Choosing to reveal myself to a reader or choosing to reveal my diary to a friend is a different issue, and I always choose carefully when doing so.

The result of my fear has been that my writing has become pale and stagnant. It�s uninteresting, uninformative and disorganized. I am not me, because when I�m here, I don�t know who I am. Am I my public persona or am I my private self?

I realize that for many people, there is no line between the two. The indoor person and the outdoor person are the same person. That�s not me, though. Because of the nature of the web these days, my indoor person can�t communicate with the outdoors anymore.

I am happy to be open and direct with specific people, but not the whole world.

I opened a new account and if I am ambitious enough, I�ll start posting useful things there. I will link from here to there in the yaketyyak fashion. However, it�s unlikely that personal stuff will travel to the next site, and when that happens, I�ll be deleting my archives here, again.

It�s partly because of the realization is that I don�t exist in a jar. The things that affect me, affect the people in my life. Now that I actually have people in my life, that�s a real consideration.

However, I can say harmless stuff, like, tonight, I�m going salsa dancing, woohoo!

Tomorrow, I�m going to karate and then to Nicole�s birthday party, yay!

Sunday, I�m going to see the Renoir exhibit, yippee!

I was supposed to hike on Sunday, but someone offered me the tickets for Renoir. Because I called Adam immediately, I was able to say that I would definitely use the tickets and therefore, they went to me. Any wishy-washy, maybe I can-maybe I can�t, type of response, would have meant the tickets would have gone to a more someone more enthusiastic.

I must say, this is quite a luxury. I would have never felt comfortable calling the ex-husband or the ex-boyfriend at work if I wasn�t about to die and needed someone to make sure my cats didn�t starve to death. In this case, I know that my calls are more than welcome, even at work. He�s happy to hear from me and thinks it�s awesome that I acquired tickets for Renoir.

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