I wrote this entry last week, but didn't get around to posting it until this morning.

I�m just trying to kill time at work.

I�m not feeling particularly tired. I went to sleep around 10PM last night. Earlier in the evening, I had a chiropractic adjustment and although, I wasn�t in any pain prior to the adjustment, my bed suddenly felt ten times more comfortable than it had been during the past few weeks. I slept soundly.

I also had a nightmare last night. I don�t like disturbing dreams, but I think that it�s possible that it�s a form of expression, and it helps bring stuff up and get it out of my head.

Oh, did I mention the retreat two weekends ago? I was fighting sleep throughout most of the meditations. I felt like I didn�t benefit as much as I usually do, and I was disappointed. Later that evening, I was invited to go to dinner with the zen priest, and since significant others are included, I brought Adam.

Well, when the president of my Buddhist organization asked me if I was coming, I told him that I had Adam with me, and I could only come if he was invited. He said, �Yes, spouses, significant others, and special friends are invited.�

I had no idea that it was obvious that he was my special friend. That makes me wonder if Ryan noticed.

Oh yes, we ran into him at meditation. I know, superficially, it�s totally meaningless. I found it meaningful, but only in a funny way. I say that because Adam has only ever attended my usual sitting once (I�ve only attended his usual sitting once, as well), and Ryan hadn�t been there for at least a year. If the thought had even occurred to me, I would have believed the odds to be pretty small.

Somehow, I missed a bright red prius parked immediately next to the staircase outside. I walked in and almost walked straight into him. I was so shocked that I stopped and stared, mainly because I am the least suave person on Earth. It�s not awkwardness. It�s more like my communication systems tend to be the first thing to shut down when something unexpected happens.

Introductions were being made while I stood in the middle of the floor, speechless and staring at this poor man, who, in turn, became uncomfortable and looked away from me.

So, that�s why it was funny. Funny, in one way, because I usually sense things like that coming ahead of time, and obviously, my brain went out it�s way to not mention it before I got there (because it has a sense of humor, too), and well, it was just funny.

I think everyone who knows me knows I�m a bit weird, which means it doesn�t matter. My handsome young man was with me, and maybe people believe that I wouldn�t be travelling with a handsome young man for purely practical reasons (and maybe I wouldn�t be). Of course, most of them are old. I�m sure that makes a difference, too.

It�s not any concern of mine, except maybe that in his eyes, it makes me look a bit like a crazy girl who goes after anything with a set of prayer beads and a zafu (totally not true, Adam uses a bench). Maybe subconsciously it�s true, but it certainly didn�t seem like it at the time.

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