Saturday, I was covered head to toe in mud. I went to the middle of PA to one of the few caves that hasn�t been closed due to white nose syndrome. Caving has been on my always-wanted-to-do list for awhile. Unlike most of my adventurer friends, I am not a thrill-seeker, but I�m an explorer. Just like diving, caving is looking at the world from another angle.

It turned out to be lucky that the only people who came on this trip were the small, athletic ones. Or maybe it wasn�t luck. Maybe most people are just smart about which trips to avoid. The spaces were tight and the climbing was difficult.

My new job has people that are more my own age, and I had expected that they would be more appreciative of my lifestyle. As it turns out, my lifestyle is something that appeals to old people only.

I was unique at my previous company because I was much younger than the average employee, but the people loved me. They were excited and interested in everything I did.

I had no idea that people in my own demographic were mostly TV watchers and spent so much time on celebrity gossip. I had no idea that it was odd to prefer a life of your own over poring over someone else�s.

All this time, I�d been considering myself to an average person, but I�m finding that I really, really don�t fit in. Perhaps it�s because there is almost no common ground (I don�t watch TV, and the only radio I listen to is NPR (I�m a member, too)), but I sense something else there, too.

I�ve gone from being a company-wide celebrity to� someone else. I can�t grasp it, exactly.

I�m still thinking it over, obviously. It seems that I am a different kind of person. It�s lucky that I am not the kind of person that needs to be admired and accepted because there�s no danger of that happening any time soon.

Whatever it is that my role in life turns out to be, I think I�ll be ok with it.

I never fit in as a kid, either, and that might be part of why it doesn�t bother me so much now.

Also, I just have too many other things to worry about to worry about them.

My rakusu kit came in the mail today. I�m going through with the precept study.

During this past weekend, I was only half-joking when I told Adam that I was thinking about becoming a monk. They totally have it made. The part I love most about the lifestyle is the routine. I told him about how much I love routine. I think most people would die if they ever caught themselves saying that, but I am happy to eat the same foods and do the same activities every week.

A few weeks ago, I changed my karate schedule around so I could fit in some other activities and for those two days, all I could think about was how wrong everything felt. I decided that I have to wait awhile before I rearrange my karate schedule again. Otherwise, I�ll probably have a freak-out session.

Anyway, Adam said, �When? You mean that�s what you�re going to do after I die, right?�

I told him that I had the distinct feeling that he�ll outlive me. I usually feel like I�m going to outlive other people, but not in his case.

It�s not something that really occurred to me before, but in light of my complete oddness compared to the average late-20s/early-30s corporate slave, I�m thinking that being a monk might not be so bad.

I�d just be surrounding myself with old people again, really. I�m not similar to them, either, but at least they like me.

It doesn�t bother me to be different. It bothers me that it bothers them that I�m different. Maybe in most cases, people have to live awhile to start appreciating the differences.

I was also telling Adam that I�m thinking about starting an adventure blog. I like to take pictures when I�m out and I got a lot of nice hiking and caving pictures, lately. I feel that I don�t have the time. He said that I had plenty of life to live and plenty of adventures that I could potentially blog about in the future, even if I don�t have the time to do it now.

I don�t know about that. I keep wondering how many years I can uphold this lifestyle.

For the past few years, I thought I was a weirdo who was becoming normal, but I guess I am actually a weirdo who is getting weirder. I wonder where I�ll be when I�m old.

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