The last time I went to a yoga class, it was one of those intensive power classes. The actual physical movements lasted about an hour and a half. Towards the end, dripping wet, I started feeling a little woozy. Surprised, I thought to myself how odd it would be to faint in a yoga class, and embarrassing. I even thought how I could be the first person to ever pass out during a yoga class. I backed off and started conserving energy.

A few minutes later, a guy fainted. While they were picking him up, I decided that I better get some Gatorade or something as equally hydrating before I suffer the same fate. Did you know that they donít call it Gatorade anymore? Now itís just called ďG.Ē I think they try too hard to sell something thatís really only useful to people who are working out really hard. As far as Iím concerned, itís just salty kool-aid.

My activity level has been up again the past few weeks. I think I mightíve been slowly adding activity back into my schedule without even realizing it. My energy level has been higher. I am starting to feel better. Iím less and less caught on that up-and-down rollercoaster of life and have a little more peace.

My interest in knitting was pretty short lived. I think part of that is because itís pretty easy. When I was learning how to do it, I couldnít put it down, but once I learned, it suddenly became pretty boring. Thatís not to say I wonít knit when Iím stuck doing other things and need something to do with my hands. I havenít actually been stuck in that situation, yet, though.

I keep being drawn to the website for the dance supply shop. I want to get a pair of jazz shoes or dance sneakers. Iíll be dancing all weekend for salsa fest and I donít want to spend that entire time in heels.

I think part of being so depressed and lethargic this past year has a lot to do with a lack of physical activity. Iíve not felt like Iíve had the same amount of time or freedom to do what I really want to do, as odd as that sounds. I donít feel that I am allowed to be otherwise occupied when someone else is around, even if that other person is otherwise occupied, himself. I have a really tough time letting my guard down. I am getting better at it, but itís not easy.

Thereís something about using my body that makes me so much happier. Itís somehow related to meditation, but I canít really figure out how. Interestingly enough, this is actually the kind of research that Adamís mentor does (mind-body connection).

Unfortunately, the university where he works is a slave driver and the poor guy hasnít had a sabbatical in the 25 years. As a result, he hasnít been able to write more than a few articles on the subject. Adam said heíd send them to me, he hasnít, yet, Iíll have to remind him.

I just got a call from the ENT. The total bill for my visit was $390. Guess how much my health insurance is covering? None of it. Thank you UnitedHealth. Iím so glad I pay you every month. As a matter of fact, my health insurer has not covered anything except a $20 flu shot. I guess I should be grateful that I havenít been kicked out because I am young, the ďrightĒ weight, donít smoke and have no pre-existing conditions. Thatís for the privilege of slapping down a card at the doctorís office and pretending it will do anything at all. Itís a mass delusion among patients and health care workers. Iím one of those elite patients that can waste money on the insurance and the bills.

The only thing I have to say on the subject of universal healthcare is that it really bothers me when people argue against it by saying that they are happy with their current health plan. Thatís nice for them, but that completely disregards all the people who have no coverage or really crappy coverage. ďIím ok, so what do I care about my neighbors?Ē God forbid that you change a system because itíll help someone else.

Thatís why it doesnít bother me at all that children are going malnourished in my own city because capitalism allows me to stand on their parents backs, who are supporting my lifestyle by doing too much work for too little money. This is so I can afford the most premium cat food for my kitties. MY household is healthy. Thatís whatís important. Have some priorities, people.

I can afford to pay what my health insurer wonít pay. The fact that I must pay only makes me more acutely aware of all the people who canít afford those bills. It doesnít upset me because I am being billed. It upsets me to know that my bill is just another symptom of a corrupt and unfair system.

Anyway, back to what I was saying before I was interrupted. Even though there is some kind of mind-body connection that draws me into physical activity, I think thereís more to it than that. When I first saw people practicing martial arts, my first thought was, ďI WANT TO DO THAT!Ē just the same when I see people doing exceptionally impressive dance and circus performers. Itís almost a compulsion. Itís no different than people who have the drive to draw, sing or write. Thereís a compulsive element, but thereís also something in it thatís satisfying and balancing. I have fun running through the woods.

Iím really looking forward to going back for more trapeze lessons. I booked a double session because I have to drive to DC to take them. I have been trying to do a lot of yoga and strength training in preparation. Itís surprisingly hard on the bodyÖ or maybe thatís not surprising to most people.

I almost never eat chips of any kind, but I had some Fritos a couple of hours ago and I feel like Iím going to go into a salt coma. Who needs that much salt in one dose?

My only problem with my life is that there isnít enough time for physical activity. Iím going to see Where the Wild Things Are on Friday night with a bunch of friends. Iím mildly irritated that itís going to take time away from exercising.

I just really hope that tonightís karate is really rough so Iíll be tired before Friday.

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Thursday, Oct. 15, 2009 at 8:50 PM