Yay, for taking care of our own, and finally giving a little bit of hope to the poor and sick of our society.

Itís so good to hear that weíre taking a step in the right direction. It seems like this whole decade has been filled with bad news. Iím almost afraid to feel hopeful, but hope is often the only beacon out there when a person is slogging through bad times.

The past couple of weeks, my physical well-being hasnít been great. I feel like I have a continuous sinus infection that ebbs and flows rather than become bad enough to merit a visit to the doctor or go away.

I didnít feel well enough to go to dance, so I missed it all week. Friday evening, I felt well enough to do a short hike for an hour or so. Saturday and Sunday, I was in yoga. Saturday night, Nicole and I went to a dance showcase and were out a little on the late side. I wasnít energetic then, but I wasnít feeling sick.

I loved the dance showcase. It was a mix of professional dancers and dance students. Some of the routines were very modern and abstract and others were just fun.

We stopped off for a snack and dessert at some trendy kaiten sushi place, and I had a dessert called Wonton Love. Hah! I took a picture. I couldnít help myself.

Friday nightís hike felt good, but I was unusually tired afterwards. Yoga on Saturday and Sunday basically kicked my butt, but I felt like I was getting behind on exercise. As a result, I decided to do a little weight training last night. I was much more tired than usual. I spent less time on it, but when this morning rolled around, I was feeling like I got hit by a dump truck, again.

So, two weekends ago, we had a martial arts/make-over party. It was our way of celebrating women who kick-ass.

One of my friends has had a lot of personal issues this year. Her brother passed away after a tragic accident and then hanging onto life by a thread for about 6 months. Just this week, her father had to go in for cancer surgery. While itís hard on my friend, I canít even imagine what all this must be like for her mother.

Sheís also been in an intensive body sculpting program. Itís served as a distraction and made her feel better about herself. She also read one of those inspirational books about getting through tough times. She liked it so much that she emailed the author to let him know how much she liked his book and now theyíve become great friends.

Itís amazing that she could recognize the need to feel better and not have a problem with making that request.

Last week, she asked me to pray for her family, so I made some offerings to Buddha, one, being meditation. It struck me how easy it was for me to meditate as an offering for someone else, but if itís just for me, I will only commit half-heartedly. Why is it that so many people find it so difficult to just do something for ourselves?

Were we trained as kids to believe that we donít deserve it? Is it just an instinct that makes us useful to the pack?

Anyway, it was a little bit of a wake-up call for me. If I have such a problem doing something as little as meditation for myself, then why not dedicate every sitting to someone else? I would benefit either way.

Over time, I should become more and more balanced. I hope. If you donít have good balance, then you donít have good self-control.

As may be obvious by this entry, Iím feeling a little scattered and disorganized, right now. I think it may be because I have been working at regaining that balance, which results in a lot of swaying and upsets.

Iíve been slowly incorporating more and more meditation into my daily life. Iíve been thinking a little bit more about my spiritual life. Itís been slow going, but Iíve seen differences.

While I am making changes, Iím avoiding anything too drastic. I donít think I could maintain a drastic change, right now, and it would just discourage me to try and fail. The most violent thing Iíve done to myself in awhile was that strength training, when I was I clearly very tired.

I am feeling a bit funny because stuff is shifting inside of me and thatís throwing me off. It may also be because Iím not well, and I might have a mild fever, too.

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Monday, Mar. 22, 2010 at 1:20 PM