The first two days of my weekend, I didnít do much at all. Friday, I slept. Saturday, I hung around the house most of the day, doing nothing. Late in the afternoon, I went for a run in the park. After that, I went home.
Sunday, I woke up feeling the need to do some organizing around the house, so I went to Ikea, got a few shelves and other organizational devices. I also stopped off at Lowes to get some necessary hardware for putting up some shelves and a towel rack in the bathroom. Those were things that I had for awhile but never installed. I had to do a little bit of spackling and painting in the bathroom first, from where old stuff had been hanging.
It was one of those hot, sticky days that most people loathe, but for some reason, where I thrive. After the stores, I went down to Pennís landing with a waffle cone, a scoop of strawberry, and a scoop of pineapple coconut, and caught a tug boat competition that happened to be going on at the time. The concrete was so hot that I couldnít sit down without it burning me through my pants.
After that, home, food, working on my shelves, then off to Sunday night meditation.
Monday, I had higher ambitions for house stuff, so I went back to Ikea to get curtains. Iíve been living with ugly, industrial looking shades for the past 6 (?) years. Why have I been living in this house for so long? Why havenít I done something about those ugly shades? I like to see nice, flowy pieces of fabric in my windows.
I was done with Ikea and picking up more hardware at Lowes by midmorning, and back home I went, in even hotter, muggier weather than Sunday. I turned on the AC and went to work on my projects.
Adam came home in the mid-afternoon, much sooner than I expected. He showered and fell into bed, and I finished up one or two more things.
Thereís still more to do, but I made a lot of progress over the weekend.
Iím so handy with tools, I think this weekend left both Adam and I wondering why so many of these tasks had been delegated to him. I think part of it was that he wanted to feel masculine in that sort of way. Maybe because thatís the way his dad is, but his spatial skills are such that thatís not a realistic expectation. He is capable of doing these things with a lot of instruction and patient coaxing, but thereís only one of us who can pick up a drill and have something assembled and installed quickly and efficiently, with very little fuss or mess.
The burst of activity after two days of nothingness is an indication of how quickly I recovered, given the right circumstances. I am still feeling a bit better, but the burdens are back. Actually, yesterday, I felt pretty bad, physically speaking. I dragged myself through a day of work, and then went home. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the house had been tidied up. I didnít even leave specific instructions on how to do every little thing that needed to be done.
There was a little bit of anxiety floating around, but it wasnít too bad. I did some reading and we both did some meditation.
We talked a little bit about his issues, which, heís finally beginning to believe that they are related to repressed anxiety. He had to hear it from a Phd first.
Before that, it was me telling him about how he should be addressing a bunch of other smaller physiological issues, which he ignored, and then the Chinese medicine guy telling him the same thing. Even then, he didnít regard it seriously, but now that the psychologist is starting to confirm other things Iíve told him, I think heís starting to get the picture.
Again, I brought up to him about my extreme sensitivity to the energy that other people give off. Itís funny, a year ago, he would have been respectful, but would have also dismissed it as a bit of flakiness on my part. Last night, he jumped in with, ďI know! I know itís so hard on you!Ē very emphatically. He even called it a ďblessing and a curse.Ē Lately, Iíve been seeing it more as a curse and a curse.
Itís good to get the understanding. It helps that heís been studying the mind-body connection and ki, academically, this year.
I think that I am starting to feel the benefits of the regular meditation. I have to devote myself to keeping it up, as itís the only thing that keeps me sane.
|Wednesday, Jun. 02, 2010 at 12:29 PM|