Iím feeling absolutely exhausted and drained today. It could be the reiki training over the weekend, plus doing a couple of treatments since. It could also be that I got up at 6AM to get to an 8AM dentist appointment before work today. I am one who normally strolls in around quarter to ten because I have a cushy job, like that.

Speaking of cushy jobs, like that, I did experience quite a shift over the weekend. I wouldnít say that my perspective is any wider, as I didnít really learn anything new. As strange as that sounds, considering that I was in a weekend long class, but it was more a refocusing of energy, a lot of subtle shifts, and things coming into better focus. Which, I now see is the long awaited change Iíve been expecting for about a year. Like I said a year ago, I tend to be about a year ahead when it comes to stuff like that. So, damn! LA was right about it being an internal shift, and not winning a million dollars, like I was hoping for.

Oh well.

Since I am still speaking from the perspective of a worker bee, I have to start thinking about what I am going to do without the financial help of a winning lottery ticket. This is where I circle back to where I started; the job. Iím really burnt out on this, and I want a career change. Since ďlottery winnerĒ doesnít seem to be coming my way, I have to think of something else.

After this last reiki training, I am starting to feel that reiki healer and yoga teacher might actually be a possibility. At the moment, I am sure that I canít manage the pay cut, but after some planning and saving, I might be able to do so in the future.

Of course, I know that itís possible to live on a lot less money. I grew up dirt poor, which is the exact reason that once I became an adult, I absolutely refused to be poor. The resulting consequence is that Iíve been a professional since the age of 22. Now that I look at that number, I have to think that thereís something seriously wrong with that. Since then, other than about a year, after my divorce wiped me out financially, I really havenít had to go without much. During that year, I had to do awful things likeÖ let my boyfriend pay for most of my luxuries.

Now the current boyfriend is poor and he lets me pay for his luxuries.

Lately, heís been a really good housekeeper, but not so good on the finding employment during the summer. I havenít been pushing him to start bagging groceries or anything, but during the school year, he was getting awards and accolades for his writing, so, my suggestion was to try to get some writing gigs. No need to make a fortune, but make something, if for no other reason than to stay in a productive mindset.

Sure, I can understand writing your fingers to the bone for nine months and wanting a break. Heck, if I had to be as prolific a writer as he was during the past year, Iíd rather be bagging groceries over the summer.

As far as the reiki goes, during this last training, my teacher was encouraging me start offering reiki as volunteer work, or reiki for donations, just to get the experience. We also talked briefly about working together for me to become a master. I think she was even excited about the possibility herself because no one has become a master under her, yet.

We both agreed that I need to let the level 2 stuff sink in before proceeding with that. I figure that, for now, Iíll offer reiki to my friends, and friends of friends, and if I need to expand after that, I might look into volunteering. My teacher said she could set me up at a homeless shelter where sheís done volunteer reiki or an AIDs clinic, where she also has contacts. Thereís also a cancer center not too far from where I live. The only problem with these venues is that Iím really very squeamish.

I never had kids, never had any weird flesh eating diseases (nor ever knew anyone who did). I have assisted in a human birth and a few kitten births, none of which bothered me, but birthing is a normal and healthy process. Itís really sickness and death that bothers me. Corpses! BAH.

This worries me especially after she commented that after having given reiki to the homeless, sheís pretty much seen it all. I have no need to see it all.

Of course, if I ever expect to make my way in the world as a healer, Iíll have to get over that. Perfectly healthy people usually arenít the ones who will pay for treatment. Maybe the homeless shelter really is my best bet. I think I just need some time to ease into it, though.

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Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2010 at 11:24 AM