Does it seem like the new year has been bad for just about everyone? I know so many people who suddenly had their lives turned upside down or experienced ridiculous strings of bad luck. Maybe the world really is ending.

I haven�t been feeling so great, either. The past few months, it�s been very difficult for me to lay down to sleep without scary things flashing before my eyes, just as I�m falling asleep. I jump up, like an electric current just zapped me, and sit there in bed, bewildered with my heart pounding. After having this experience a dozen or so times per night for a few months, I�m starting to feel a bit �off.�

If by �off� I mean, stark raving mad.

I don�t like to talk about it much because it makes me feel like a loon to bring up the fact that my own mind is a sadistic bastard, and my worst enemy.

Also, I�m tired of it pushing me into conventional therapy, which hasn�t gotten me anywhere, except resenting a wide variety of doctors and therapists.

I don�t mind seeing a therapist for relationship counseling. When it comes to relating to people, an outside perspective can help a lot. For me, on a personal level, I can�t cope with it.

Of course, long ago, I�ve realized that for certain people and certain kinds of suffering, there isn�t anything that can be done. I�m beginning to think that the quicker and easier those involved accept that, the better things will be. Not perfect, but at least there won�t be so much agonizing over looking for a fix.

Much of my life, I just stayed busy, kept myself distracted, worked out a lot, so I tired myself out by the end of the day.

As far as that goes, there�s really not much else to say beyond that.

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