I havenít watched the video of the royal wedding, yet, but I have plenty to say about it before Iíve even seen it. I heard on the radio this morning that the wedding was watched by 1 out of 3 people, in the world. I canít even canít even imagine the stage fright that would induce in me.

I suppose thatís why Diana mixed up her vows. Iím only mentioning it because she supposedly had the same myerís-briggs personality type as me, considering that, and the circumstances under which she was married, I give her tons of props for only making one small mistake. Thirty years later, theyíre still mentioning it in the news.

The other thing that bothers me is that it seems like no article can reference Diana anymore without mentioning that she suffered from depression. As if, everything that went wrong during her reign was due to some crimpling mental illness, and had nothing to do with the circumstances that were thrust upon her.

The positive thing here is that I think the monarchy learned an important lesson from Dianaís life. They attempted to take a modern woman and force her into a medieval lifestyle. Disaster ensued. One generation later, her son seems to be allowed to live a somewhat normal life. Well, as normal as royalty can be.

As far todayís wedding (I still havenít seen it, yet), the only negative thing I can say is that Iím sad that Diana couldnít be there.

I canít get on the ďfrivolityĒ and ďtasteless display of wealthĒ bandwagon. It seems strange because Iím usually on that bandwagon when it comes to a lot of regular weddings.

I canít see a lavish royal wedding as being frivolous because it has been a tradition, not just an English tradition, but in many cultures, to have a lavish royal wedding. Monarchies are a part of many peopleís identities because their cultureĎs matured and solidified under monarchies. Princess stories have survived for so long, even outside of the actual monarchy, because itís that much a part of culture.

The traditions seen in a royal wedding, such as this, go back thousands of years. The family itself can be traced back thousands of years. Given the British Monarchy, you can hardly come up with any other family that has been more influential on world history. Todayís ceremony is a tether to our collective history.

As far as the wealth part, while I agree that most monarchies have not acquired their wealth and power in a fair way, who does? Anyone who was born with any privilege, at all, and that includes the privilege of their skin color, acquired that privilege because their ancestor treated someoneís elseís ancestor unfairly. Wealth and power always comes at someoneís expense. Itís not free.

I donít believe that royalty is any better than anyone else, but I recognize it as a legitimate station in life. Itís a burden as much as itís a privilege, and it has plenty of both.

Itís strange that this wedding would come along when Iíve had weddingís on the mind, lately. I still havenít watched the video. I did see pictures of the wedding, and I really love how it turned out. The dress was gorgeous, and so suitable, the whole wedding party looked great, actually. I really love what Pippa had on. Is that a pretty family, or what?

Adam has been a bit amused by my interest in the wedding. Apparently, I donít seem like the kind of person who would be into it. He isnít the first to think so, either, but in previous relationships, it was often used an excuse to not indulge what was perceived as my more ďfrivolousĒ desires. Actually, I was told that I didnít have any, and in my eagerness to please, I just went along with it.

Last night, he was engrossed in watching the NFL draft live, while simultaneously playing Madden on FB (itís a football thing), and giving me a running commentary on the teams, players and events. When I made an ill-timed comment on a different subject, he said, ďIím sorry, but I canít about that talk now! Iíve been waiting for this all day!Ē I smiled, kissed him, and said, ďOk, but if this how youíre planning on spending your evening, you really have no business making fun of me for being interested in the royal wedding.Ē

That seemed to strike him. We have all have something that engrosses us to the complete bafflement of our mates. He said, ďDid I make fun of you? I didnít mean it! Ok, ok, I did say that I needed a royal barf bag, but thatĎs all! I wonĎt say anything else!Ē

Actually, his mild chiding didnít affect me one bit, but I did want to make my point.

Last weekend, we spent far too much time discussion the state of our relationship, and the future of it. Later in the week, seemingly out of nowhere, Adam started asking me about whether it was better to get a marriage proposal with a ring, or be allowed to choose the desired ring, later? I took it as a hypothetical question, and answered in a vague, it-really-depends-on-the-person kind of way. Finally, he said, ďIím asking you. What do you want?Ē

I wasnít shocked, but it did scare me a little bit. After some thought, I said that itĎs really important to have exactly what I want, so Iíd rather wait to get it, rather than have be given to me on the spot.

I felt pretty nervous the next day, but somehow ended up wondering about what I wanted. So, I looked at rings online, and got an idea of what I wanted, but then ended up feeling even more nervous about the whole thing.

When Iím being wholly true to myself, Iím not a very traditional person, but I suspect thatís the case with most people. When you stop trying to fulfill some abstract expectation of yourself, built out of a jumbled mess from various sources, about what it means to be a good/attractive woman, and start just being yourself, things change a lot.

That occurred to me after I realized that the things I want are so different from what is considered ďtraditionalĒ today, and I started worrying about criticism.

We keep being told over and over again that if we have certain things, weíll magically become happy. We donít take our individual desires into consideration, and believe it. Or, perhaps Iím just weird. Maybe all those things that bridal magazines tell you that you want, really are what other people want. It just unbelievable to me that everyone wants the exact same thing.

Itís not like Iíve made a bunch of decisions and planned my entire wedding in the space of two days. Itís more that I looked at rings and shuddered at the idea of wearing a diamond engagement ring. Thank God I was able to stop that one before it happened.

0 comments so far

Friday, Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:55 PM