I spoke to yet another reiki healer today. She was at the spa, where I went to get my facial. For just another $15, I added on a crystal chakra balancing along with the facial. Clean pores and balanced chakra�s? How could I say no?

My throat chakra has been bothering me, again. It started on Friday, when I went to see my reiki teacher, and since then, I�ve been getting energy building up behind the blockage. Blah. It�s such a nasty feeling.

I�ve been working on it myself. It�ll open up after I treat it, and then within a day it�s blocked up again because I�m so vulnerable there. When I told the reiki healer about it today, she said that throat chakra problems are typical of people who have had traumatic childhoods.

I was not very forthcoming with my responses, and she seemed a little disappointed by that, but I�m also assuming that she understands because, after all, my throat chakra is a mess.

She led me in a guided meditation for a spirit guide, and while I�ve done spirit guide meditations in the past, I�ve never gotten a huge benefit, or at least, I�ve never perceived a huge benefit.

This time around, I got a strong message from the spirit guide that I need to have more confidence and faith in myself. My reiki teacher told me the same thing on Friday. She wanted me to stop questioning myself, stop seeking answers from others, and start working on healing myself. It will be a process.

At the end, she produced a set of cards. This woman seemed to be a jack-of-all-healing trades. Within the space of an hour, she worked on my skin, gave me a foot, hand, and scalp massage, gave me a guided meditation, a chakra balancing and finished with this card thing.

I don�t know what this falls under, since I know absolutely nothing about card reading. It was some kind of religious themed deck (Saint Something or Other). She had me shuffle and pick a card, and then she opened a book and read a page that corresponded with the card. I picked one called �Inner Authority.�

It went on to describe exactly what my reiki teacher and �spirit guide� said. I need to stop seeking answers from others and start listening to myself. The outside answers are just confusing me and I need to feel more confident in my abilities, etc.

I did not tell the woman about the consistency between answers because I was mulling over how I can remind myself to have faith in myself. Obviously, if I woke up in the morning totally confident and sure of myself, I wouldn�t need to be told to have faith in myself. How can I keep that in the forefront of my mind?

Too bad that it escaped me to tell her. We all need that validation, especially healers.

She also mentioned that my third eye is over-active, which she found to be concerning. I�ve known about that for awhile, but since I meditate regularly and practice yoga regularly, I don�t think that�s surprising nor very concerning.

It�s possible that the over-activity in my third eye is causing the weakness in my root chakra.

Oh yeah, I�ve had a weak root chakra for awhile, too. It's related to what I said yesterday, about naturally having my head in the clouds. The weak root chakra doesn�t give me physical discomfort, like the throat chakra blockage, so I don�t think about it much.

The weak root chakra gives me psychological discomfort. More on that some other time.

I�ve known all along that I have the tools to heal myself, yet, I�ve never felt competent enough to even try. Considering that I paid money to have someone heal me in the exact same way that I�m trained to heal myself, even after the advice my teacher gave me, I must really need to be hit over the head with this.

I know it now, but I don�t feel it, yet.

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Wednesday, Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:01 PM