I woke up with such a headache and itís been nagging me all day. This happens to me every time I am active past 2AM. Itís just bizarre.

I only wanted to go to the dinner part of the bachelorette pary, last night, but the bride kept begging me to go to club after club. I figured, itís her day, and besides, when am I going to have another chance to go clubbing? I almost never go, anymore.

I found out that I still dance like a crazy person, but Iím from the era of raves and goth clubs and people spazzed out on the dance floor because they didnít have the internet to dull their pain, and they used drugs instead. Seriously. Kids today dance like theyíre geriatric. A drink in one hand and a phone in the other; texting and jiggling one legÖ thatís the new dance craze. The white-business-man-boogie?

I thought that as I aged, I was supposed to look lame and the young set were supposed to look crazy; not the other way around.

Who knew that there would be a time when the biggest offense of the upcoming generation is that theyíre just too dull?

Of course, there was the requisite crotch grinding dance, but Iím beginning to think that it was so two years ago. It wasnít nearly as prolific was the last time I went clubbing, which was more like 4 years ago? I donít remember. Anyway, I only saw two or three couples doing that, this time.

Itís no longer shocking, and really, itís just awkward, and most likely painful. The girl has to bend over in the most uncomfortable position to dance that way, and often in a short skirtÖ well, thatís just a recipe for an achy back and a raw butt.

The continued clubbing meant I missed my train back home, and a friend was gracious enough to give me a ride back. I thought that might happen, but I also thought, ďEh, Iíll figure it out later.Ē See, Iím not always Miss Practical.

I got to hear some of the most incredible bad date stories from some of my friends.

It reminded me of how much being single sucks. It reminded me that the socialization of women to be nice is incredibly detrimental and dangerous.

I also got to see how much fortitude and strength some of my friends have.

I learned about the bride. Sheís a little on the shy side, and I didnít know much about her interior. Sheís a little slip of a petite Indian girl, making her seem sweet and demure.

When she got a little tipsy, she started saying to me how difficult itís been for her living in this country, that sheís all alone here. She grew up in India, and did all of her schooling in India, and now sheís here by herself. This is something I never knew. All the other Indian immigrants I know have family here. They have a strong sense of connection to one another. They donít send individuals off alone.

She said to me, ďI imagine itís the same for you?Ē Sort of shocked and taken aback, I said, ďNo, no, Iím from here.Ē Sure, I donít have my family, but at least I live in my native land. I must have told her, at some point, that I donít have familial support.

Later, when my other friend was driving me home, she remarked that she was so glad the brides mother and sister came, especially considering the rift caused by her first marriage. I said, ďWait! First marriage?! I didnít even know she was married before! What rift?Ē

Turns out, sheíd been in an arranged marriage. The man was abusive. She told her family that she had to leave him. Her family told her that if she left her marriage, they would be so shamed by her actions, sheíd have to leave country forever. So, thatís what she did, and thatís how she ended up here, all alone, and away from everything familiar.

ItĎs amazing how little we know about each other. I never would have imagined that she has that kind of strength and fortitude. I said that to my friend, and she said, ďWell, she seems soft on the outside, yes, but I see her as someone who is very strong on the inside.Ē She must be. She must be.

You know, I know I was griping about having to go to the shower and bachelorette party, but I think I forgot about the value of spending time with friends. To sit, talk, unwind and share experiences. We need that connection. We need that open honesty, too; hearing about how we all struggle. It helps us realize that weíre not all making colossal messes out of our lives. We punish and reprimand ourselves for our mistakes, and wear our regrets like albatrosses. All the bad stuff thatís happens to us isnít because we did something wrong, but because thatís just life.

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Sunday, Sept. 18, 2011 at 8:21 PM