Itís been a crappy week all around. My brotherís cat died, Nicoleís boyfriend left the country, and I just talked to another friend who says that there was a problem with her husbandís medicine, and all week, heís been a total mess. Then, her washing machine died.

Iíve just been tired. It could be the usual clawing at the cosmic-continuum, which is slang for: I feel like crap when other peopleís lives suck.

Or, it could be that Iím just tired. Iíve been feeling extra overwhelmed with everything I mentioned before. Even at my best, I have trouble staying balanced.

Iíve been sleeping a lot, this week. I even took a sick day, yesterday.

Since the new year started, I havenít been keeping up with my self-care, and itís possible that thatís catching up to me, too.

I have a couple of ideas for posts for the other blog, but I havenít gotten it together enough to actually write them down.

Iíve been learning more about personality types, and Iím finding it mildly helpful. I actually read through a self-help book that was loaned to me a few years ago called, The Introvert Advantage: Something Something Something.

It was a bit too general, and only mildly helpful. Lots of "introverts are so very, very wonderful and special, really." No actual examples or reasons given to prove her point.

Sheíll give examples likeÖ introverts often get so overwhelmed by the external world that theyíll completely shut down and be unable to think.

This is something I identify with, but then sheíll follow it up with some crazy assertion like how the blank-mind, deer in headlights, experience is ok because youíre just so special.

Really? Because when that happens to me, it usually causes a huge misunderstanding or fight because extroverts donít get that Iím not doing it on purpose. Since I canít think, I canít explain that Iím not doing it on purpose, until maybe 3 days later, and by then, Iím ashamed of my idiotic inability to compute a thought, that I donít want to bring it up. By my definition; not ok.

Itís especially hard if the person knows me, and believes me to be pretty damn smart. So, they think thereís no way in hell that Iím not intentionally withholding an answer or response.

Youíd have to be pretty damn special to offset a problem like that. Like, having the ability to fly.

Fortunately, I can deal with the regular world most of the time. While Iím a pretty strong introvert, Iím generally not a shy or self-conscious person. So, I donít have that added anxiety, which often trips up other introverts.

So, anyway, there was stuff where she cited experiences that resonated with me, and a lot of other general stuff that seemed very fluffy and unhelpful. The few solutions she offered either didnít apply to me, or were so obvious, Iíd started employing them decades ago.

Tonight, Iím going to dinner and watching a movie with some friends. This is to help cheer up Nicole, but also provides me with much needed socialization outside of Adam. Itís easy to forget how important that is, but I try to keep that practice in my regular rotation as part of Operation: Make Amy Sane.

1 comments so far

Friday, Feb. 03, 2012 at 4:27 PM