Over the past couple of weeks, I�ve been reading the occasional article about changing careers online. The one thing they all seem to agree upon is that if a person wants to change her career that�s totally fine, acceptable and not stupid, as long as she�s created a plan. It�s all about the plan. It doesn�t say anything about the quality of the plan, but I suppose that goes without saying.

At first, I started panicking. Do I have enough of a plan?

Now I�m realizing that I�ve got plans up the wazoo. I�m so seriously planned up, I�m like one of those backpackers that carry so much crap, he could probably move to the woods.

This is just me. In my anxiety over not being good enough, I overdo everything. If someone tells me that I need X, then I get myself 10 times X. As a matter of fact, my over-planning has gotten me overbooked.

I�m working half-time at the old job, this month, and I�ve been working out paperwork for a new job doing reiki at a clinic, four hours a week. Getting clearances, paperwork, insurance� blah blah blah, to do healthcare work hasn�t been a walk in the park. As a matter of fact, there�s so much bureaucracy for this job, I�m still not even sure I have the job, despite the fact that I�ve signed the contract.

I still haven�t figured out which classes I�m going to take next month, and registration is a looming deadline.

I thought I was going to get some time off between careers! Oh, no, no, I�m not complaining. The universe has been giving with two hands, lately, but sheesh, I was kind of looking forward to a few lazy days.

Anyway, when I�m feeling tired and overwhelmed, I find myself missing the mind-numbing security of being a member of the Corporate America swarm. When I�m actually in the hive, I look around and wonder why people keep doing this.

I understand that young people like it. When I was young, I liked it, too. It makes you feel like a grown-up. You can buy a grown-up car, live in a grown-up dwelling, and wear grown-up clothes. The next thing you know, you also have grown-up responsibilities, too. Once you have the grown-up responsibilities, you�ve come to the second reason that people keep doing this.

They�ve got to maintain all that grown-up stuff they�ve acquired, which often includes children. Because I don�t have children, I�ve opted out of the biggest grown-up responsibility of them all. I respect the choices others have made in this realm. However, I don�t feel bad or guilty for the life I�ve chosen, either, because they are them, and I am me. People want different things and make different choices in life. That�s our right as human beings.

Anyway, this morning, I was thinking about how I often write in here, thinking of it as footnotes for my life. Sometimes I think I�ll go back and read it, but I never do. Maybe I�ll have time, later.

I was also thinking about writing. I was reading an article not too long ago written by a journalist who visited the post Eat, Pray, Love Bali. She wrote about how it was swarming with middle-aged yogi ladies, all on the quest to write the next big, best-selling memoir. It made me wonder if there was another book out there in recent times that has inspired so many people to write their own book. Of course, who knows, perhaps every idyllic locale in which a book takes place is swarming with people looking to write the same thing.

Although, I have a hard time believing that�s the case for Detroit, which is where Jeffrey Eugenides is from. Maybe that�s because it�s Detroit, but I think it�s more because he doesn�t inspire others to write. He�s a favorite of intellectuals. I think that�s because he makes writing look hard.

Elizabeth Gilbert, with her conversational style, makes it look easy, and perhaps her style just plain is easier, too. I don�t know.

All I know is how I see it, and this is how I see it. If I were to compare the two, I would say that Liz Gilbert is more like Nadia Comaneci and Jeffrey Eugenides is more like Mary Lou Retton. If you don�t understand, watch them both on youtube. Nadia floats on the air, as if she weighs nothing. Mary Lou Retton, with her huge, muscular thighs, visibly shows the force required to move with such power. As a matter of fact, it�s her power that�s her impact. She hits the mats fast and hard, with intimidating speed and thumps. Nadia doesn�t even appear to touch the mats. Her impact is her complete lack impact.

I wouldn�t say that one is harder than the other. Nadia is Nadia and Mary Lou is Mary Lou. They�re two different people, with two different talents. However, I know who makes it look easier. Interestingly enough, for some reason, last week, Adam and I were watching them on youtube and comparing their performances. He was drawn to Mary Lou�s strong style because it looks so impressive. It looks like a human being that is defying gravity in the only way a human being can, through strength, grit, practice and determination. I was drawn to Nadia and what seems to be an inhuman ability to unexplainably defy gravity, appearing to do it naturally, and without effort.

Before we watched those videos together, I�d assumed that everyone would prefer Nadia over Mary Lou. Who wouldn�t prefer a fairy-like incarnation flitting over a gym mat over a racecar-like athlete? I guess lots of people.

Anyway, I�ve got to go.

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