I ordered, this book. Don�t worry, it�s not that I order so few books that I have to announce it on my diary every time I order a book. Honestly, I order far too many books, and I keep them piled up in my drawing room.

I keep them in piles because even though I�m rich enough to have a drawing room, I am too cheap to have a bookshelf.

I�m only mentioning it because I�m kind of excited about it. I know there are a few bad reviews on amazon, but everyone has different needs and expectations when it comes to any book.

If you ask me, if you search for semantic database, that�s really the best option that comes up. I really don�t know all that much about it, so I guess this is a good starting point.

I�m supposed to go on a hike today and I�m not even close to feeling like it. However, I am better off hiking than sitting around brooding with nothing better to do. Last night, I asked Mr Crush if he wanted to go, and he did, except he�s already committed to something else.

I didn�t have the time to ask him sooner. We�ve both been far too busy over the summer. During the winter, we were able to talk a lot more.

That�s the thing that�s irking me. We both have our own, very full, lives, and there�s barely any overlap.

Something hit me the other day. When I first saw him, I knew, without a doubt, that he would change my life. I was 100% sure that I also knew how he�d change my life, but maybe that�s the part that�s wrong. Maybe I believed that because that�s the only way I imagined that someone could affect me so profoundly.

He�s already affected me profoundly, and he hasn�t done anything except acted exactly like your normal, every day workaholic and technology genius.

Over the years, after being laid off from my dot-com job, being unable to find work in web development, failed marriage to the geekiest man alive (to be later surpassed by Mr Crush), and then spending two and a half years with a software engineer who had almost no passion for technology (I know, it�s really bizarre). I�d really become disenchanted with technology, specifically the web.

It was something that had previously been extremely inspiring to me. As an art student, in 1994, I taught myself how to use the internet, as time went on, taught myself HTML and from there, went on to other programming languages.

In 1996, I had an online diary that I updated by hand-coding new HTML every day (well, there was some copy and paste involved).

That�s not something people do if they�re just a little bit interested in the internet. This is something people do if they are passionately involved with it.

Anyway, I shouldn�t beat the point into the ground.

Because of the previously mentioned turmoil surrounding my experiences, by the time I met Mr Crush, I was ready to do something else entirely. Go back to drawing and art history, write a book, maybe.

Ok, now I�m back from my hike.

The crazy hiker guy was there. I deleted the entries from last year. The summary goes something like: We went out once. It was so bad, the trauma turned me off dating for two months. He emailed me constantly (we�re talking about 7 emails a day, averaging about ten pages each) and every single interaction turned into a big dramatic production.

It�s not that I�m completely unaware of what it feels like to totally fall for someone instantly. We all know that I�ve been in this state of existence since last August. Maybe crazy hiker guy was just a good lesson for me to learn before meeting Mr Crush.

Although, at the time, I was so overly confident in my charm that I didn�t believe there was such a person who would deny me. And that was probably an even more important lesson learned from Mr Crush.

I had totally forgotten about crazy hiker guy. I would have spoken to him, but he went out of his way to avoid me. When I say that, I mean, WAY out of his way.

I made no effort towards anything. At one point, I caught him hiding behind some bushes and staring at me, and that was the closest we ever got to eye-contact.

That�s why he�s called crazy hiker guy.

Oh, I never finished what I was saying about Mr Crush. He re-introduced me to a lot of things that I had become really disenchanted with.

This morning, I was feeling very indignant about being a programmer, and I was going to go on and on about not getting enough credit; blah, blah, blah. Luckily my hike spared you all of that.

It�s true to some extent. The geeks at work don�t like to acknowledge me, but nothing has stopped me from leaving and utilizing my brain as much as I am capable. Mr Crush�s enthusiasm for technology re-ignited mine, and I think that has changed the course of my life.

This probably should have been broken up into a couple of entries, but I ran out of time this morning before the hike, sorry.

If you happen to be reading this, have a great 4th. It's my favorite holiday and always has been.

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