Iíve been cosmetics crazy, lately. I now have close to 100 eye-shadow colors. I had to purchase an art supply bin because a standard make-up case wouldnít hold it all. Itís funny how people with OCD or addictive personality disorder try to tell me that I donít understand the nature of compulsion.

Me and compulsion go way back.

Iíve always had a love and fascination for cosmetics. Itís related to aesthetics. Aesthetics, aesthetics, aesthetics. Thatís why Iím here. Why bother with life if you canít look at pretty things?

So, like in every other aspect of my life, Iím slightly ahead of the curve and Iíve already reached the age where I just donít care what strangers think of me, anymore. That doesnít mean I go around telling people offÖ quite the opposite, actually. That means Iím much more laid-back and self-expressive.

This means that Iím not afraid to experiment with makeup. Nicole helped usher me into my new addiction. Also an artist, she has honed her skills working on friends throughout the ages, and reading books by makeup artists. While at her apartment the other day, I picked up a book and started reading. The guy who wrote the book encouraged a ďno rulesĒ approach to makeup and suggested experimenting with every color on everyone. That sounded fantastic to meÖ and the next thing I know, I was on my way to owning every color. Ok, maybe thatís only practical advice if you are actually a makeup artist.

Anyway, her encouragement combined with the glammed-up salsa dress-code has given me a little too much permission to feed my addiction. The funny thing is that I wear less makeup on a daily basis now than I did when I limited myself to a few colors and styles.

Iíve decided to ban myself from the insanity for a little while. The only allowance Iím making is that I might possibly get a very small set of false lashes for the ballet on Friday. Even that is very iffy. I already have a bunch of individual lashes that I can use.

Iím excited for the ballet. It's towards the end of the season, so a lot of tickets were going for half-price. We took the opportunity and pounced on it.

I still really want to go to the opera, but tickets for that are always expensive. I think that last year, I told Adam that I wanted to go to the opera for my birthday, but I don't know if he remembers. I also have been asking various husbands and boyfriends for YEARS to take me to cirque de soleil. What will it take to get me there? (Besides going myself?)

They are doing Madame Butterfly in October. I should make it a priority to get there.

Iím so grateful that Adam also has an appreciation for the fine arts. His only real problem with it is the expense, and I canít blame him there. If we were to get the same seats for the opera that we got for the ballet, theyíd be $300 apiece.

Itís so strange how so many people try to live without art. Itís too hard to get by without beauty. I donít think that means a person is obligated to spend $300 a seat to go to the opera. There is so much available that is completely free. The Philadelphia Museum of Art is a wonderful, and free, place to spend a Sunday afternoon.

In other news, Adam has also been teaching me how to play ultimate frisbee, strictly on an individual basis. Iím not ready for team sports, yet. I know that sounds silly, but I hate competition. If team sports meant that there was no opposition, Iíd be quite happy to participate. Maybe someday I will graduate to playing an actual game. Adam says that I am a natural athlete but I still have a lot of negative associations with anything that reminds me of gym class. I just donít want to get started playing and then hate every minute of it.

I guess itís similar to how people keep telling Adam that he is a natural dancer, but he still associates it with feeling incompetent while being taught by his dad, whose criticisms can sound very sharp (even though, he clearly means well). The interesting thing is that they both look very similar while dancing (and while doing just about anything else) with the same mannerisms and way of moving. One has just had way, way, way more practice than the other.

Outside of my brother and I, athleticism doesnít run in my family, but there are quite a few things that donít exist in my family, outside of my brother and I.

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Tuesday, Jun. 02, 2009 at 4:42 PM