Listening to more of that biography of Diana.

Itís made me realize that internal torture can be just as bad, if not worse, than external torture. Internal torture is not tangible, and it occurs inside someoneís head. That makes it too easy to dismiss, I think. Especially in this highly skeptical culture, where most people refuse to believe things, unless they see them with their own eyes.

The other thing about it occurring inside someoneís head, is that it suggests that the person has to be involved somehow, as a viewer. The person has to give audience to the torture for it to happen. Iím not saying that makes it simple. Sometimes it can feel like someone holding your hand to a hot stove and telling you to learn to ignore the pain. Any normal person would say, ďLet go of my hand, and I wonít have to learn how to ignore it!Ē

Feels like. While thatís the perception, there is still some element of control over internal pain, even when someone else is the cause of the pain. With the majority of people, that element of control is very, very slight, and usually comes with age and practice. With younger people, thatís an incredibly high expectation.

I only mention it because I am a veteran of internal torture, and Iíve been there. I am still there, in many ways.

Another realization Iíve had is that some people just need more nurturing than others. I suppose this is obvious to anyone who has had actual familial type relationships with multiple people, at once. I never have, but thatís not the point.

Some people just need more. Those who need to be nurtured more arenít bad people. They didnít ask to be who they are, anymore than anyone else did. Itís like being born with brown hair or blue eyes, I think. It just happens.

Itís sort of a weird situation for all of us. I think that we generally judge others with the same standards in which we judge ourselves, but weíre all so very different. We are all capable of extraordinary things. Some of us canít reach our full potential without the help and love of others. Should we condemn them for that, or give them the tools they need to succeed?

1 comments so far

Monday, Aug. 15, 2011 at 8:13 PM