I don�t know how it happened, but I have become evil.

Not the �I�m in too much pain to help myself� evil or the �I�m just too clueless to know better� evil. Nope. Evil evil.

Last week, one of my coworkers got really bitchy. Actually, she�s been bitchy awhile, but I�ve been ignoring it. At first, I was pretty compassionate about it, but after awhile, I got tired of trying to smooth over hurt feelings every 15 minutes because she�s so damn insecure, I just gave up. She got to be more persistent, so I started sending her away with her tail between her legs.

I have the tendency to mirror people�s behavior towards me. The people who are good and kind to me think I�m the sweetest thing on Earth. The not so nice people�

I have to admit, if five six years in karate has taught me anything, it�s that backing down in a fight doesn�t encourage your opponent stop beating you, it just gives them the opportunity to kick you when you�re down. This most likely doesn�t translate well to every situation, but when I witnessed my own behavior, I realized that this is how I�ve been trained.

Her petty little swings and jabs were merely minor annoyances to me, and just in an effort to get rid of her, I�d go for the jugular (end the dispute), and get on with my work.

It must be noted here that despite the fact that while fighting in karate, I�ve often been warned for excessive contact, I�ve never been disqualified for hitting below the belt. This actually mirrors my social interaction, as well.

Anyway, that�s not the evil part.

Last week, when the bitchiness reached a new level, I actually bothered to start to wonder what was causing this. I realize that in most cases, people don�t decide, �I�m going to be bitchy today� it�s a reaction to something else, some other pain or insecurity. It didn�t take me long to figure it out; this woman in terrified of me.

I started a mini-experiment and gauged reactions to test my theory and confirmed it. It�s pretty laughable, but it seems to be true.

I giggled about it and then felt sorry for her. I mean, to be scared of me, you�ve got to be pretty bad off (or in desperate need of enemies? I don�t know).

Ok, on to the evil part.

Earlier this afternoon, I ran into this same woman in the hallway.

I smiled at her in a way that I knew would strike terror in her heart, and she said nervously, "What�s that smile about?" and I said, in the sweetest, most I-know something-you-don't tone (obviously, I really know nothing), "Nothing."

And as I walked by, she said to me, "So much for keeping your hair straight, eh?"

This was in reference to the few weeks ago, when I came back to the office after my haircut and Joey had blown my hair straight. I had gotten so much attention that day, you'd have thought I had become a celebrity in that one hour. I wasn't getting attention because I looked that much better, it was more that I just looked that different.

I laughed so hard, inwardly. You'd have be almost wetting your pants in fear to stoop to something that ridiculously low.

That�s the kind of weak, illegal jab that, in karate would delight me because it gives me an excuse to give someone a good legal pounding.

Of course, it�s not necessarily fair, but it�s not necessarily fair that I�m faster, stronger, and more flexible than some people, either.

And, don�t forget, in real life, you don�t go around giving people poundings, regardless of how legal it would be in the ring. But regardless of that, and regardless of the fact that I don�t really think it�s worth the extra energy, and of course, anything worse than an few evil smiles would just be plain wrong, I still got that delighted �now I�ve got you right where I want you� feeling.

Anyone who has seen karate kid knows that having power does not give you a license to go around beating up the weaker folks.

Being evil is just far too much fun.

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