Ah, I had a nice weekend. Saturday, Nicole and I drove up to Anthony�s condo. While at Anthony�s, I unpacked my bag of cosmetics and offered them to Nicole, so she could do my makeup. Pleasantly surprised, she was happy to experiment on my face with whatever products I could offer her. I have an intense rusty, orange color that I really wanted to try, so she put it on me. That, coupled with the olive green top I had on, my normally light brown eyes turned green! How bizarre. It was a total happy accident.

Nicole looked at me thoughtfully and said, �Your dad� he�s the one who�s white, right? He has green eyes, doesn�t he?�

I answered, �Yeah��

She pumped her fist, �YES! I called it!�

While I do like the idea of color changing eyes, I�ve always been in the camp of wanting the really rich, dark brown eyes, like a real Asian, just like I�ve always wanted the straight black hair. Rather than being the greenest eyed, most red-headed Asian most people will ever meet. But, I�ve long ago determined that there are tougher rows to hoe than not being born with ones preferred hair and eye color.

We ordered pizza and then left Anthony�s for a concert. After a lovely concert experience, waiting in line for autographs, chatting, hugs and kisses with the musician, we grabbed a cab. Anthony needed to stop by a birthday party of a client of his.

While in the cab, I asked if she was holding the party in her apartment (thinking about the size of most Manhattan apartments). He said no, it�s being held in a hotel. It turns out it�s a trendy, crazy expensive kind of place, and she�s having it in the penthouse.

Nicole looked at her cargo pants and t-shirt and asked what the people in this party might be wearing and asked exactly WHO in the entertainment business is holding this party, anyway? We�re not going to be walking in on Nicole Kidman�s black-tie event wearing street clothes, are we?

Anthony assured us that no, it wouldn�t be anything like that, but also admitted to having no idea what style of party it would be. Nicole put her foot down. She was absolutely NOT WALKING INTO THAT PARTY DRESSED IN THOSE CLOTHES. She�d wait in the lobby, no big deal. They argued about it the entire cab ride. I thought it was hilarious and I couldn�t help myself from not helping at all by joking about how funny it would be for us to arrive at a black-tie affair in these clothes.

As for me, of course I wasn�t dressed to do anything other than go to some small indy-type concert, but that didn�t bother me much. I just didn�t feel like going to a party full of people that I don�t know, and have no business knowing. I liked the idea of waiting in the lobby.

Once we got there, Anthony tried one last time to convince her, and she refused to get into the elevator. I saw my opportunity to not go to a party and chose to back her up. Anyway, since we didn�t feel like being harassed by bell-boys wondering what we were doing skulking around the lobby, we decided to walk around outside. It was a gorgeous night, anyway.

After wandering around a bit, we had someone take our picture. Hey, why not? Then we wandered past a Sephora. We couldn�t resist popping in to look at all the pretty cosmetics. Eventually, we walked back to the hotel and there was Anthony outside. He had quickly tired of the party and came down to look for us. Luckily, he wasn�t waiting too long. I hadn�t heard my phone ring when he called to say he was done with the party.

After going back to Anthony�s condo, we sat and chatted until we couldn�t keep our heads upright.

Sunday was such a beautiful day!

I didn�t do much. Since I am naturally an early riser, I was up before anyone else. I made tea, showered, and ate leftover chex mix and m&m�s for breakfast (what?). Then I hopped on Anthony�s elliptical to take an easy stroll in his living room next to an open window with the breeze and sunlight on me.

Once Nicole was up, she quickly dressed and we chatted while she worked on a knitting project and eventually convinced me that I should really try knitting. After Anthony made his appearance, we said our goodbye�s and drove home.

The rest of Sunday afternoon, I was too tired to do much. I chatted with Adam, we ate and I fell asleep on the sofa the rest of the evening.

I�m not sure why, but it just felt good. It�s nice to get away from home for a little bit, and get into a different city. I think being in New York kind reminded me that even though Philadelphia is no New York, New York is no Philadelphia, either. I like where I live.

I�m just adding to the bottom of yesterday�s post, since I forgot to post it and it�s easier to do this than post two in a row.

So, anyway. Is it sick that I find it comforting that my life isn�t the only one that�s a total suck fest? Maybe it is. Maybe if I could sum up more compassion for the billions of people who have it worse than me, I wouldn�t think my life is a total suck fest.

I�m not in the best mood today. I was in a bad mood when I woke up, but what really pushed me over the edge was that I was rear ended while sitting at a stoplight again. This time, there was no damage thankfully, but it wasn�t exactly a little love-tap, either. My shoulders and neck are a bit sore because I was already feeling tense and stressed out before it happened.

I got out of the car and a young woman with knock-off of knock-off sunglasses, and I-wish-I-were-Gwen-Stefani-hair got out. There�s also a kid in the passenger seat, probably about 3 or 4 years old. She said to me, �I don�t know what happened�. Did you back up?�

I inspected my bumper, saw there was no damage and said, �Its fine.� She asked me if I backed up again, and I said, much more rudely than I normally say things to strangers, �I DID NOT BACK UP!!!! I WAS JUST SITTING AT THE LIGHT!!!!� in my mind thinking, �WTF!?!?! My car is an automatic!� It�s not like it can unexpectedly roll backwards.

Women who drive with young kids are often worse than people who text message while driving. They�re constantly doting on them, screaming at them, unwrapping treats for them or handing over toys. I often wonder why they think it�s more important that the kid get his treat right now over something, like, not killing him in a car wreck.

This bit of bias that I have against women who can�t leave their kids alone while driving was really what added fuel to my fire. I just knew she must have doing something with that kid when she hit me.

Neck hurts a little, shoulder hurts some. I�ll probably be better by tomorrow. The girl may be crying to her husband about the nasty woman she rear-ended today. Other than that, no damage.

Oy. I�m trying to figure out what to do with my stress level that�s way above manageable and has been for awhile. A couple of weeks ago, I finally went to an ENT to find out why my ears have been hurting for the past year. I�ve been waking up with huge headaches and terrible ear pain. He inspected my ears and they tested my hearing. His diagnosis was that my ear pain is being caused by stress and tension and that nothing can be done about it.

My hearing is perfect. I have the hearing of an 8-year-old (his words). Well. I guess this explains why I leap an inch off the bed whenever someone 2 blocks away thinks about opening the fridge at 3 AM.

At least no one can accuse me of not hearing something.

I feel like being a bit gossipy now. So, I have a few friends that always have had tough luck in love.

Let me stop for a minute to talk about myself here (because, hey, it�s my diary). I grew up as somewhat of a lightning rod for the opposite sex. Now that�s over and I�m a bit washed up. My near constant stress has not done me any favors. Yes, at 33, and I�m bitter about it (making me ALL THE MORE attractive), too, but that�s beside the point.

Despite my bitter feelings, at least there was a point in my life in my life where I was able to experience the reassurance of yes, I am attractive and people like me. I am not going to die with no human companionship and ten cats. My most meaningful relationship will not be with my career (A nearly 40 year old coworker once confided in me that exact fact about herself).

However, I have friends who are my age and older and still looking. By that, I don�t mean that they are between relationships, either. I have a friend who dates a lot. He goes out maybe once a week searching for Miss Right and continually comes back empty-handed. Even a second date is rare occurrence. Third dates are almost unheard of. However, about three years ago, he dated a girl for around a month or six weeks, I�m not even sure� because it was three years ago.

Awhile ago, I had learned that he still kept a photo of this girl in his wallet. I didn�t think too much about it because I know him and that�s the kind of guy he is. However, more recently, I thought about it again, and started thinking about how ODD that is.

I�ve been in the same relationship for two years and I still haven�t gotten around to carrying around a picture or putting one on my desk or anything. I don�t even carry pictures of my cats!

This guy dates a girl for a month and not only gets a picture to carry around but then doesn�t get rid of it after he breaks up with her?

If I watched TV, I could probably name some TV show where this could be an episode. I can imagine a scene where I have a talk with him, saying, �You NEED to get rid of this photo! It makes you look crazy!�

Part of me is a little envious. I almost wish that my life were THAT atypical. Also, wouldn�t there be something oddly comforting about a life that never changes? Maybe it�s because I really enjoyed being single and think back on that time fondly.

I�m not supposed to know about this photo. He showed Adam and made him promise that he wouldn�t tell me. Why me? Most likely because I know the history of the relationship and the only one who can call �insanity� on the matter.

Yeah. Don�t ever tell a guy a bit of gossip and tell him not to tell his girlfriend. He�d have an easier time hiding the fact that he has committed a violent crime, than keeping any gossip from her.

I know that men like to claim that they aren�t a bunch of hens, but people are people, and all people like to discuss other people, especially if it�s odd or slightly eccentric. It�s not socially acceptable for men to gossip with each other, so they gossip with their wives, girlfriends and female relatives. Most of the men in my life have been the most gossipy gossips I�ve known.

I�ve been often finding myself too anxious and depressed to go to karate, even. I don�t know if I need a change of hobby or something else. My interest in yoga has been getting stronger again. I�ve built up quite a bit of muscle, but I haven�t really gotten rid of my extra fat. Well, I haven�t gotten rid of enough where I can comfortably fit into my old clothes. I think that subconsciously, I don�t buy new clothes because there�s something deep in the recesses of my brain that says that fat girls, too depressed to go to karate, don�t deserve new clothes.

You�ll get new clothes when you can fit into your old clothes� er�

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