Iím pretty tired today, I have karate tonight. I was up late last night being the crazy spod that I am. I thought Iíd gotten away from the computer, but no, itís back. Itís about some boy, itís always some boy, but this time, not only does he live in the same country as me, he actually lives in the same state, too.

I also stalked my high school crush over the weekend. Not for real. I had a dream about him on Saturday night, which made me curious, so I searched for him and came up with a picture.

I swear he looks at least ten years older than me. Maybe itís just me. I donít know, I was pretty shocked, though. I showed Suzanne and she had the same reaction, that he looks old. She said it made her feel old.

Strangely, it made me feel young. He looked so adult, so grownup. I still feel very childlike.

Last night, Ryo brought up a bunch of stuff about the nature of reality. I wanted to go into more depth about this, but heís such a chatty boy, itís hard to get a word in edgewise.

He also asked me why I was once site banned from a chat. I canít really go into detail about that without sounding like a total freak. It wasnít my fault, though. I promise you, it wasnít my fault.

That was one of the very few times in my life that Iíve ever refused to answer a direct question. Normally, Iím not self-conscious at all. Itís mostly because thereís nothing too scary to hide, anyway. I feel self-conscious around him, though. I donít remember the last time I was self-conscious around anyone. Why I choose now and him, I donít know.

Iím really sleepy, though.

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Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2006 at 2:23 PM