Lately, Iíve felt confused. Almost to the, ďWhere the hell am I?Ē extent. I know where I am physically, of course, but I feel lost in my brain, wandering around in circles and opening random doors, unsure of what Iíll find.

Iím having a really difficult time being as open as Iíd like to be to Adam, which makes me wonder if maybe the problem is that Iím not totally open and honest with myself. Maybe Iím running into issues because Iím not even sure of what I believe about myself.

I donít even know what Iím doing with my time that I think I donít have time to be open with myself. I sat for an hour and a half for meditation last night. An hour and a half! I struggled with it a lot. I was fighting off sleep most of the time.

I donít know, Iím so frustrated with myself, but I donít want to be that person who is always frustrated with herself. Humans make mistakes.

Things at work didnít go quite as planned; Iím a bit restless. Sometimes I am good at managing myself, and other times, I get messed up when the routine changes.

I could really use some rest.

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Monday, Oct. 29, 2007 at 4:40 PM